If Your Child is Behaving Like a Bully

• Know the warning signs. Bullies may disrespect authority and people who are different from them, enjoy putting others down, disregard rules, need to have power over others, or joke about violent acts or enjoy violence.
• If your child is behaving like a bully:
  • Talk to your child. Ask your child, “What were you trying to do?” “How do you think the other person felt?” “What could you do differently next time?” Make sure your child understands that you still love him or her, and that it is the bullying behavior you don’t like.
  • Feeling angry or defensive is normal, but instead focus on what you can do to help your child learn positive behavior.
  • Make it clear to your child that you think bullying is wrong. Set clear, nonviolent consequences for future bullying.
  • Discuss the situation with your child’s teacher. Work with the school to help change your child’s behavior

If Your Child is Being Bullied

• A victim may seem quiet or depressed, have bruises or other injuries, come home with missing or damaged belongings, and lose interest or do poorly in school. Ask your child directly. If your child is being bullied:
  • Be supportive. Show your concern. Reassure your child that the bullying is not his or her fault.
  • Talk to the school about the situation.
  • Figure out simple responses to the bully’s taunts. Suggest that your child say, “Okay, you’re right,” and walk away.
  • Suggest that your child stay away from the bully, avoid places where the bully hangs out, stay with friends, and leave valuables at home.
  • Find ways for your child to feel good about himself or herself. Encourage activities and friendships with other kids.
  • Help your child learn to look assertive and confident by standing up straight, using a clear voice, and making eye contact.
  • Teach your child not to be a bystander. When no one speaks up, the bully learns he or she can get away with it.

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